Response to "Marked Women, Unmarked Men"

Reading through an online article called "Marked Women, Unmarked Men", written my Deborah Tannen. She explains that the “THE TERM MARKED is a staple of linguistic theory… the way language alters the base meaning of a word by adding a linguistic particle that has no meaning on its own.” When Tannen refers to both men and women she simply believes that women are seen as marked and men are not. What does she mean by this? Well, focusing on 3 women in a work conference she was attending Tannen was able to take into consideration that the way women choose to dress, act, and look makes a statement about what their personalities are like, what they want, and even how they think. Now of the four women at the work conference including herself she did not look at the men and analyze them according to what they chose to wear that day.  WHY? Well it was not that she was being critical of the women but because the eight men were all dressed in a similar works uniform with dark closed toes and all had a similar haircut, the stereotypical male works man. They could not be judged according to what they were wearing because they all looked the same. So in this case the author refers to the as unmarked. Their works clothes are their works clothes but, women’s works cloths are not just their works clothes. Depending on what they wore marks them as the flirtatious, strong, serious, shy, etc. they can’t just put something on and not be judged by those around them.

We as individuals have the freedom to be unmarked because being marked is like being stereotyped and in many ways stereotyping is unfair, hurtful, and narrow-minded, (do not understand, and know the full history). Today there are many different stereotypes for women, three of which are as described in the article by Tannen .The one who wears the tightly fitted outfit, the one who wears a more comfortable outfit and the one who is dressed “professionally”. Simply women do not want to be judged by what they wear because it is unfair, it’s like the rape myth, “she wearing that because she wants to have sex”. Just because someone dresses in a certain way does not mean it gives someone else the right to mark her as she wants this or she wants that or even she thinks like this. It’s just wrong, and once again unfair. Unfortunately the other half of being marked is that once you are marked by the public you are stuck with that image and no matter what you do, you are still seen as you were when you were marked.

In this Article Tannen states that men are unmarked, I disagree even though men might wear the same outfits, color wise, or style wise they too can be marked, but perhaps just in a more subtle way, depending on where they buy the suits, what quality of suits they wear or even the brand of clothing  can mark them as cheap, self-aware, etc.  And although the man’s suit and tie is a typical uniform for the office there are differences. Tannen mentioned that men only have shirts in primary colors which is not true. I feel that a man wearing a pink shirt can definitely be marked whether it suggests a more feminine side or a man with a lot of confidence,people will mark him. Although one of these statements can be true or both false to this man a pink shirt would just be a shirt and nothing more, same goes for ties. A man in the office can be marked according to the type of tie he decides to wear. Although women have more to be marked for men too can be marked it might just not be as obvious as it is with women.  

Is this the price we have to pay?The Objectification and Oversexualization of Black Women in America

“Man... black B*@#$es have big a@$es and white B@*$@es give the Becky all the time.” “And tell me why this b@$@$ had the nerve to say she didn’t want to f*^@! Bet I won’t take her to Red Lobster again.”

I overheard the statements above while sitting in the lobby at my school campus just a few days ago, Two male-bodied individuals who I assert as Black were seated directly in front of me.  They were sharing a “private” exchange that was only meant to be heard by them, and yet I had the wonder misfortune to overhear these lines loud and clear. I couldn’t help but fight back the urge to smack both of them in the back of their heads; I began to reflect upon the misogynist undertones that were evident within these young male’s angry words.

1.   You called this young woman who decided to go on a date with you a bitch; is that what all women are objectified to nowadays? I mean she was doing you a favor.

2.      .You assume that purchasing dinner for this young woman would result in receiving sex from her as an exchange of her goods.

3.      You essentially believed that this young woman’s body was worth roundabout $20 dollars. That amount of money doesn’t even but you a full tank of gas.

      “And she better be glad she has a fat a@$ with her black self.”

That was the icebreaker and like magic the substantive value of a black woman’s’ body has once again been reduced to the pronouncement and fullness of her body parts. As a Black woman, it infuriates me to think that some of my male- counterparts would prefer to literally strip me of my education, my love of family, my spirituality, my assertiveness ,my leadership roles and other personal characteristics  that I hold dear to me and place my ultimate values on the roundness of lips, thighs, butt and breast. While I innately embrace my body, my sexuality, and wish that all women experienced an environment in which they felt empowered to do the same,  it pains me when my body image and my sexuality , which is just ONE part of my identity, is magnified to encompass my entire being. What role does the history of Black people in the United States play in this modern-day oversexualization of the Black woman? No need to think too hard. You can rewind history to just 150 years ago to find a painful glimpse of the sexual objectification of African American women in our country’s history. African American women were slaves and sold to the highest bidder.

Borrowed from history.com

The picture shown above is still very modest. Narrative accounts by former slaves and slave owners of this time have documented that typically Black women who were on the auction block to be sold to the highest bidder were stripped naked so that potential buyers could thoroughly examine their goods before making an offer. Poking, Prodding and Pulling. Any dignity that remained was thrown out of the window. Then ding ding ding! She was sold to the man with the most money to spend. This slave woman, whose life has been given a price, whose worth has been diminished to the perceived productivity emanating from her back, her legs, her arms, her bones, her soul, is now expected to do whatever this man asks because she has been paid for in full. Let us not forget that noncompliance with her owner’s wishes inevitably resulted in punishment, whether that be a verbal whipping, physical beating, rape, or death.

Now let’s return to the 21st century. A person does not have to search far to find the modern-day oversexualization and objectification of Black women on their nearest TV music channels or radio stations.

Rappers Fat Joe & Lil’ Wayne emphatically repeat to the world that they “make it rain on them h@es!”

Why must Nelly tear of her clothes with his teeth and then later slide a credit card in between her posterior.

Throughout history, this particular message regarding the worthiness of Black women in society has been made to be very clear. We are property. We are to be at the sexual disposal of any man who “invests” in us. “I took you to dinner; therefore you must have sex with me. I bought you a drink; therefore you must have sex with me. I helped you pay your light bill; therefore you must have sex with me.” And if you refuse to finish this transaction, this trading of goods, then you are potentially subjecting yourself to emotional, verbal, and physical abuse even rape or murder. To my Black women, in what ways can we solidify a positive and cohesive front in denying our placement on our modern-day auction blocks, take back our sexuality, and hold firm to the fact that we are more than our butts and thighs?